The Importance of Mixed-Age Play

Children playing only with others of their own age is a relatively new concept. This idea of separating children by age has been made increasingly stark through our current (yet completely outdated) education system.

Throughout most of human history, children played with other children in multi-age groups.

Our society has swung so far to the extreme that it is rare to be able to find activities that are open for children of mixed ages. Also, it is rare to find children of various ages groups playing together unless they are family.

Benefits of Mixed-Age Play

This is an unfortunate trend. Mixed-age play (and mixed-age schooling) has been shown, through various studies, to have a variety of significant benefits to children of all ages. Some benefits are:

• Better moral reasoning
• More rapid cognitive development
• Increased ability to understand literacy and numeracy concepts
• Awareness of concepts that would traditionally be considered beyond their level
• Increased social and emotional awareness

Benefits of Mixed-Age Play for Young and Old

Dr. Peter Gray notes, “Even when they are not playing together, younger children learn from older ones by watching and listening. They see older children climbing trees or solving puzzles, for example, and then they want to do that, so they work at it by emulating the older children’s actions.” In fact, from his research, he asserts that children are much more likely to learn from children who are a little older than them than from adults.

The benefits are not just for the youngest of the group.

Mixed-age play allows the older child to assume a greater sense of responsibility and practice nurturing in real time. They show a better sense of maturity and develop leadership qualities that can only be learned through actual experience with leading others.

Being around younger kids allows them to play teacher and act as role models.

It is often through these types of relationships that they develop a better sense of empathy, a stronger ability to compromise and collaborate, and a sense of empowerment to solve more complex problems or navigate unique social situations.

Mixed-Age Play Impacts Kindness and Empathy

Research across different cultures shows that older children who have more contact with younger children tend to be kinder. And they are not just kinder to younger children but kinder to others overall.

When children play together in mixed age groups, they are constantly adjusting their behavior to meet the needs of the various ages in the group.

When this happens children change how they speak, how they act, and what they expect from others.

Little ones who would often have a hard time regulating their emotions might see the older kids dealing with similar disappointments and mimic how they are handling the situation.

Older kids, who might normally exhibit behaviors inappropriate for younger kids, will step up because they understand the importance of being a role model.

A Call to Action for Our Children

Our current society often very strictly segregates children by age. This means it is important for parents and caregivers to move to provide more opportunities for children to spend time with others of different age groups. This is something that places like daycares, nursery schools, and enrichment classes need to address.

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5 Steps to Encourage Independent Play

Design for Independent Play

One of the biggest issues parents are experiencing right now is trying to keep kids entertained and busy while also working from home. But they aren’t sure what steps to take to encourage independent play.

This shift in mindset will help. Try to think in terms of “how can I encourage independent play or learning.”

NOT “how can I keep my kids busy or entertained.”

This shift will allow your kids to develop important skills, while also keeping them engaged for longer stretches of time so you can actually get something done.

Here are 5 Steps to Encourage Independent Play

1. Minimize the amount of toys available

Research shows that the kids with fewer toys have better quality play; often engaging in more creative and imaginative play. When kids are given less options (this study had kids getting four toys, and kids getting sixteen toys) they played for significantly longer periods of time. Having too many toys (or anything for that matter!) is a distraction.

Think about how stressed you feel when you see so much “stuff” everywhere–you don’t know where to look, or what to do, it’s totally overwhelming.

It’s the same for kids. You want to focus on providing fewer but more open ended toys that will encourage more active and imaginative play.

If you’re looking for toy recommendations, check out my must have toys for toddlers.

2. Open ended toys

The types of toys you have available for your kids directly impacts the quality of their play. It’s best to have more open ended toys as this will promote more active and engaged play. Open ended toys are toys that can be played with in a variety of ways. They are simple and are typically the toys you have seen stand the test of time.

That talking Elmo that lights up and dances? Popular for one holiday season (and really obnoxious).

Building blocks. Pretty much popular since the dawn of man in some form or another.

Toys have a significant influence on how children develop physical, social, emotional and cognitive skills. The key is to stay away from standard plastic toys, especially toys that talk, light up, move, or engage in any other way with your child. Anything with batteries should be cause for a pause.

Keep in mind that the more a toy does, the less your kid has to do. The general rule of thumb is that a toy should do no more than 10 percent of the work. This leaves your child to do 90 percent of the work. If you want your child to play independently they need access to open ended toys.

3. Organize in a way that makes sense to a child

When organizing your space think about how you can provide easy access to the toys that will promote play.

For example, we keep things like smaller legos, puzzles and board games higher up because my kids can’t do the entire process from start to finish by themselves.

However, blocks, trucks, and pretend play items are easily accessible.

Think about how tall your child is and try to keep items at or below that height. That way they do not need you to help them get a toy–which also means they don’t need you to put that toy away.

Also, in terms of storage–open shelving and baskets work best vs closed bins (even labeled!), drawers or toys boxes. You want children to be able to see everything that’s available to them.

4. Make it a “yes” space

One of the best ways to make your life easier is to find a way to create a “yes” space for your kids. Make sure everything in this space is a “yes.” That means there is literally not a single thing that your kid could get into that would be an issue.

Think about safety, but also about ability to access toys or other needs. Anticipate what they could ask you for, and find a way to make it available to them so they can do things for themselves.

This gives you peace of mind knowing there isn’t anything they can get themselves into that is a huge deal and will allow them to play for longer periods of time without needing you.

5. Away from adults

Yes. AWAY from adults. Kids need space. They need to be left alone to play and immerse themselves in play.

If your child isn’t used to playing in this way, or does not have access to open ended toys, this might be more difficult. It will take time for them to re-learn how to play independently and they may come to you with a thousand questions or want you to engage in play with them.

Resist the urge to do this–set boundaries and find ways to “push” their questions back to them. I try not to even provide my kids with ideas for play–I just tell them “go play!” and they whine (sometimes because they want to be with me) and I repeat “go play!” You are not responsible for entertaining your child all day. Play is their job.

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